August 10: What They Meant for Evil
Your list has names on it of people who hurt you far worse than you hurt them. Why should they be on your list at all?
“And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave. He spent years in Egypt, some of them in prison for something he didn’t do. Later, he rose to power. When his brothers came to him, afraid, he had every right to get even.
Instead he said, Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.
That’s one of the most remarkable things anyone says in the whole Bible. Joseph doesn’t pretend they did nothing wrong. He calls it evil. But he also sees that God was at work, even in the worst of it. And he refuses to take God’s place as judge.
There’s a common trap in Step Eight. “They hurt me more, so I’m leaving them off.” It feels fair. But it keeps you tied to them. Your recovery ends up depending on what they do or don’t do.
Putting someone on your list doesn’t mean you’re saying what they did was okay. It means you’re looking at your own part. Maybe your part was small. Maybe it was only how you reacted. The years of bitterness. The things you said about them. The way you used what they did as an excuse to drink.
Your part is the only part you can clean up. Joseph couldn’t fix his brothers. He could only decide how he’d respond. That freed him.
If someone harmed you badly, or if the situation could be dangerous, don’t plan any contact on your own. Talk it over with a sponsor or pastor first. Putting a name on a list is not the same as going to see them.
One thing today
Pick one name of someone who hurt you. Write down only your part, however small. Then write Joseph’s question: “Am I in the place of God?”
A prayer
God, some people hurt me badly. I’m not You, and I don’t have to be their judge. Help me see my part honestly, and help me trust You with the rest. Amen.
The Step Eight page talks about the “they hurt me more” trap.
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